one thing at a time: keeping yourself sane in the New Year

New Year, new you, right? …Probably not. In my experience, resolutions only last until February, and (usually) that’s okay. But this year feels different. In 2016, I graduated college, broke up with a long-term boyfriend, interned at my dream job,  started a new full-time position in New York, fell in love again, began a hellish commute, and have been sick more times than I can count. Needless to say, when December rolled around, I was a bit exhausted and ready to revamp my life in the new year. The first week of 2016 has taught me a few things, most of which come down to the idea that everything takes time. A friend of mine shared an article the other day about a man in Indonesia who claims to be 146 years old (though it has not yet been verified); he says his secret to longevity is, “just patience.”

Upon hearing this I audibly chuckled, and responded “that man must not have anxiety.” Anyone who has anxiety knows that while there’s no sense in worrying about things (especially ones you can’t control), it becomes nearly impossible to stop your brain from worrying, and God forbid you rationalize a worry and you have a quiet moment to yourself, because your brain will inevitably hunt for its next thing to dwell on. After battling acne since I was 10, I finally started Accutane this week, and now my brain keeps saying, “it’s day four why haven’t you seen results?!” This thought is absurd and I know in truth it will take months to see results, but as soon as I rationalized that worry I started to think, “what are you going to do this year to keep yourself from looking OLD?!” Again, this is my irrational brain hunting for something (read: anything) to worry about, and in the end, I just have to try my hardest to tackle these worries one by one. I’ve always practiced mindfulness, but now I’m adding a component where I say “one thing at a time” out loud. While this may make me seem insane to anyone around me, it’s proven beneficial in the last, let’s say, four days.

I think everyone in their 20s has a huge crisis at some point, and if you’re like me, maybe you’ve had two in one year. Mine tend to manifest in existential dread, fully equipped with all of the broad and unanswerable questions you’d expect. In the last few months I’ve thought more about quitting my job and buying a one-way ticket to Rome than I’d like to admit, and there have been a million instances where I’ve kicked myself for not taking at least a few months off after graduation to decompress. But alas, I have found some peace in telling myself that I’m only 22 and I will have opportunities to do what I want if I don’t feel fulfilled at this moment.

Within the next few months, I plan on moving to Brooklyn with friends, cutting back time on my commute (and gaining extra hours of sleep every day), and beginning to find the time to practice yoga again. I plan to reassess at the beginning of summer, nearly a year after graduation, to see if my feelings have changed (or at least improved), and to see if I still feel lost. We live in a world where there are less “right ways” to do things; there are less and less correct “steps” to take. It is my feeling that our path tends to meander a bit more than that of our
grandparents, and while these formative years are hard and uncertain, you really can’t take it on all at once.  So instead of wondering why I haven’t started to learn that new language in 2017, I will be focusing on moving, and practicing self-care, and only then will I attempt to tackle those smaller goals as they fall into my free time.
taking aerial yoga ~very~ seriously

Processed with VSCOcam with a7 presetOne of the OG members of Bridget&Mary’s posse, New York native Kat Farrell graduated with a degree in International Trade and Art History from Susquehanna University. Currently trying to navigate the art world, she can be found in some strange gallery, sporting an all black, alarmingly minimal outfit…she’s the one with the wicked resting bitch face. If she’s not there, she’s in bed drinking black coffee and worshipping the Kardashians (in an ironic way, duh).

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