to the girl who went to the john mayer concert alone (+ why I admire her)

I’m assuming your choice to go to a concert alone was an intentional one. After all, you had the last seat in the row and the block of seats I was sitting in with my friends started right next to yours.  My friend that sat next to you said that you were having a grand old time the entire time, noting you knew every word to every single song.

Though I know nothing about you beyond this idea that you chose to go to a concert solo, I’ve got to say, I respect you and that choice heavily.  I think it’s so important that we not only are comfortable being alone with ourselves, but also are kind to ourselves, and going to a(n AMAZING) concert and enjoying a night out fulfills both of those criteria.

Now, I’m not naive enough to think that a single solo excursion makes someone the representation of self-assurance, but surely it’s a start.  Generally, when people see others out and about by themselves, their initial react is to invoke pity, as if the person has no other option than company of the self.  Going out alone, however, allows a person to really be central with their thoughts.  In such a distraction-laden time, it’s nice to be about to sort out what you’re thinking and feeling without the need to interact with others as you’re doing it.  And while being in good company is such a gift, and often, it’s where I prefer to be, it’s crucial that we know how to be by ourselves, so that in the event that we find ourselves alone, it’s not as devastating or jarring.

I, myself, over the years, have tried to ween myself off of the idea of needing to be surrounded when I am in public.  A couple times a week, I like to get coffee and hang out alone.  I’ll bring my computer and work on some writing or bring a book to read.  Of course, the event usually is brought to and end when I meet up with some friends, but I’m always refreshed after this time, especially if I’ve dedicated it to something creative.  And therein lies a balance that I am comfortable with.

You live with yourself your entire life, so you might as well get used to this constant, and not be afraid to grab lunch (or jam out) alone when none of your friends are available.


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